


Poor Choices

by privateerwrites



Series: Musketeer March 2021 [9]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Characters Play Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, FIRST MIODERN AU OF THE CHALLENGE LOOK AT MY RESTRIANT, Gen, oh wait no yesterday, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/privateerwrites/pseuds/privateerwrites
Summary: Musketeer March Day 9- "I cannot believe you slept with the queen!"Athos DMs a game of dnd and Aramis makes decisions that are rather unwise but very in-character.
Relationships: Ana de Austria | Anne d'Autriche & Aramis | René d'Herblay, Aramis | René d'Herblay & Athos | Comte de la Fère, Aramis | René d'Herblay & Athos | Comte de la Fère & Porthos du Vallon
Series: Musketeer March 2021 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188632
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Poor Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo alrighty so- the character names come from a list by animanightmate on tumblr of the actual names of the people who inspired the characters we all know and love, so big thanks to zir for making that!!
> 
> Additionally, I hadn't heard of this concept until I read [should we make this a podcast](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26343055) by takingoffmyshoes, so also thanks to that fic for introducing me to this concept!!

Athos sits at the head of the table, hiding his hands, which are drumming on the table, behind his DM shield.   
  
"D'Artagnan, please roll a perception check."   
  
"Wha- why- I don't like that," d'Artagnan says, but rolls his d20 and cringes hard. "3?"   
  
"The trees look very nice as you and Isaac ride along. Porthos?"   
  
"19. With mods."   
  
"You can see something in the trees, a person, maybe, and definitely something shiny and a little too weapon-looking for your liking."   
  
"I relay this information to Charles."   
  
"What do you two want to do about it?"   
  
"I jump off my horse and draw my sword and start walking."   
  
"I'll do the same, I suppose."   
  
"Brilliant," Athos starts. Just as he's about to begin his next sentence, a piece of paper hits his arm, coming from Aramis' seat. He pushes it to the side and keeps going. "Roll me another perception check."   
  
"5."   
  
"Crit 1."   
  
Athos grunts. "The man is gone. You don't see or hear anything. D'Artagnan, are you sure you added your modifier to that?"   
  
D'Artagnan nods sadly.   
  
"Alright, then."   
  
Athos unfolds the note and looks up at Aramis. "No," he says flatly. "You may not."   
  
"It's in character, though?"   
  
Athos glares. "Roll... roll me a charisma check. To convince _me_ , not her."   
  
Aramis drops the die into his tower and grins at the number he sees.   
  
"Nat 20," he says, clearly delighted.   
  
"Fuck," Athos mutters. Louder, he announces, "Five minute break, thanks to Aramis. Anne, Aramis, come here."   
  
He pulls them aside, hands Anne one of the cookies Porthos brought.   
  
"He wants to sleep with Ana."   
  
"Oh," she says, clearly surprised, but not exactly floored. "Well, if he can roll well enough, sure, I suppose."   
  
"Thank you," Aramis says, and kisses her cheek.   
  
Athos sighs deeply, again. This man is going to be the death of him, one day. They reassemble at the table slowly, d’Artagnan now carrying a plate of what looks like straight frosting to set in front of him at his seat, and Athos hangs his head and then rolls his neck, looking up for a moment, hoping to the man who taught him this game that maybe this won’t go too badly and the repercussions won’t ring through the entirety of this campaign. He is so glad Treville isn’t here to see this.  
  
"Aramis, roll me a persuasion check. Anne, roll me a wisdom check."   
  
"25, with modifiers."   
  
"5?"   
  
"I cannot believe I am letting this happen but- Aramis, you get what you want. Roll me constitution and charisma."   
  
"14 and 19."   
  
Athos laughs darkly. He shouldn’t be letting this happen, but here he is, breaking what might just be the most sacred rule of Treville’s- don’t let your PCs have sex, because it won’t end well.   
  
"One d10, plus three and one d8, please."   
  
"7 and 4?"   
  
Athos scribbles them down on his Aramis post-it note that is currently full of the names of Henry’s lovers and how many women are madly in love with Henry at any given time in any given town.   
  
"It goes great. You both have a fantastic time. Congratulations, Aramis." Aramis’ grin is blinding.  
  
For the rest of the session, Aramis is more insufferable than usual, though he doesn't throw any more paper at Athos, for which Athos is grateful. He’s not sure that he could survive more antics that Aramis doesn’t want to articulate today.   
  
They stumble through the combat at the nunnery a little more slowly than normal, gently guiding d'Artagnan through the aspects of the system to which he isn't as accustomed as the rest of them. Eventually, they all make it back to the palace, bruised and battered but in fit condition to report back to Athos' least favorite NPC to play, the king.

They play out the king, glad to see his wife again and the soldiers, glad to be returned and successful in their job. Athos gives them all some experience and gold as a reward, and begins the wrap-up.  
  
Just as he's finishing the session, getting everyone sent back to their rooms to sleep or to a tavern, in Isaac and Henry’s case, a piece of paper lands on his forehead, falling down into his little alcove of privacy. He looks up at Aramis suspiciously.  
  
 _I want to kiss her_ , it reads. Another hits his cheek.   
  
_I want to kiss him_ , it says.   
  
"Both of you, roll a deception check."   
  
"1."

  
"3."   
  
"Isaac, you're still in the palace, yes?"   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"Alright, roll me a perception check."   
  
"15?"   
  
"As you're walking in the hallway, you pretty much walk straight into your best friend making out with the queen just outside her rooms."   
  
"Uhm." Porthos bites his lip. "I'm gonna stand a little away and wait for them to finish... that, since Henry and I are going to the bar together. Around the corner, though, not in plain sight."   
  
"We're done making out now," Aramis says. "I'm going to head down the hallway."   
  
"I'm returning to my room for a long rest."   
  
"Henry is passing where you're standing, Isaac."   
  
"Henry!"   
  
"Isaac! My brother! Shall we drink together?"   
  
"Yes, yes, but first I must ask- _why were you kissing the queen_?" Porthos hisses this last part quietly across the table to Aramis.  
  
"Ah, Isaac, I am in _love_ , and it is beautiful."   
  
"Did you-"   
  
"Henry looks a little sheepish."   
  
"You did! I cannot believe you slept with the queen, Henry. You do know what will happen when they catch you?"   
  
"They will not," Aramis says lightly.   
  
"Isaac doesn't believe this, but he drops it."   
  
"Great. And you two head to the tavern?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
Athos nods, and stands. "Good session. Aramis, you were no help. Thank you, everyone."   
  
"Thank you, Athos."   
  
"Who's on dinner," Porthos asks.   
  
"I'll do it," Aramis says, jumping to his feet.   
  
"Kitchen's yours," Constance says mildly.   
  
"Excellent! Do you have beans," he calls, already halfway through rifling through the cabinets in search of what he wants.   
  
"In the corner!"   
  
Athos smiles. This is exactly why he loves Sundays, even if his partner makes his life difficult and he has to DM the consequences. Porthos leans over and hugs him from the side, without prompting.   
  
"He's somethin', yeah?"   
  
"Wouldn't have him any other way."   
  
"Me either, Athos. Me either."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos greatly appreciated!
> 
> If tumblr is more your thing, I'm also over there at privateerstudies!!


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